Closer Than a Brother

I wasn't going to post about this but a message from a brother in Christ who has been grieving himself encouraged me to do so in order to share what the LORD has taught me recently. You all know I've been grieving several losses lately and have been feeling the weight of mortality more than ever the last few weeks, reminded constantly it seems of death all around. I just learned this week of another friend whose sister has cancer (please pray for her). And I also learned and was very shocked by the death of a dear friend.

This latest incident seemed to be the last straw. It just knocked the wind out of me, physically and spiritually. My friend was probably the sweetest guy I've ever known, "learning disabled" with the look and sound of voice that is stuck with the label of "retarded", but as I often told him I thought he was smarter than me. He was also one of the loneliest, always wanting a wife and children and never finding love. Though he was wonderful with his nieces and nephews, he never had the opportunity to have children of his own. He died at the age of 46 from complications of diabetes. And I could just feel anger and resentment toward the LORD for
having denied this great guy the blessings he longed for so much while I am still alive. It didn't seem fair. What's more, it was a little too close to home. Everything I wrote about his circumstances (though he was a much better person than I)could be written about me by someone else if I died today. So it was like the enemy spitting in my face, saying "You see, your
GOD never gave your friend what he longed for and He won't do it for you either. You and your friend lived lonely lives for nothing. All for nothing."

But in the end, after having it out with the LORD, and talking to trusted friends, I had to realize that as much as I loved Bobby, I loved JESUS more. My friend was closer to me than a brother, but JESUS is closer still. And if I trust JESUS, I must say along with Scriptures that "He does all things well." I tried to share the Gospel with my friend (who was Jewish) and believe that he did accept JESUS in his childlike faith. So I have hope of seeing him at Home some day. I don't know all the answers, but "I know Whom I have believed and am persuaded that He is able to keep that which I've committed unto Him...including my dear friend...until that day." Whatever JESUS did, and does, it was right and is right and good.

The Word says that when we get Home, the LORD will wipe every tear from our eyes. Why are there tears in Heaven? Perhaps as we look back over the pain we've caused, over the blessings we've missed and that we could have shared and could have done that we didn't. Perhaps we will cry over the unfair treatment that sin caused and did through us or hurt us as a target in our lives. JESUS wept at the tomb of his dear friend, Lazarus, though He knew he would raise Lazarus in a few minutes from then, temporarily and ultimately forever. He wept over the pain Jerusalem and its inhabitants would suffer, sobbing, though He knew He would have the ultimate victory. Even though Christ wins the battle, it's not without pain and tears for Him
and for us.

And that, too, is part of what the LORD taught me in all of this moroseness lately. Not to ask "Why", but "How", as in "How can I be a blessing in the name of Christ even in this situation? What does the LORD want me to do, even in the face of death and pain for myself and others? What is my part to play in the relay race of life?"

Because that is what Paul tells us, to run the race that is before us. We do not cross the finish line here. Only at Home does the race end. Only at the Throne of GOD do we receive the prize. Our task here is to run our leg of the race and to pass the baton as best we can along the way.

All of this thinking of mortality distracted me. Seeing those I cared about dropping out of the race, hearing rumors of what set them aside and what could ultimately set me aside as well, had me slowing my steps and stumbling, staggering. We have a saying in the military to "Stay in your lane." Don't wander into another person's area of responsibility. Run your own race, complete your own course. Finish your own mission. That's the best you can do for anyone else. You will love and help and bless others along the way as best you can, that's a requirement. No one can do it alone, and always under the power of Christ without Whom we can do nothing. But despite all the loss and tears and pain, we must run on until our own race is done.

So for all of you who, like me, are shocked and stunned and staggered by losses recently, I say as the LORD said to me. Take refreshment from a cup of cool water by talking to trusted friends, by talking to the most trusted Friend of all, JESUS, most of all. Pace yourself as He leads. But keep running. Don't look back. Don't be distracted or discouraged to stagger
off into the weeds of why. Don't wander into wondering.

JESUS does all things well. That's all you need to know. And He is waiting for you with open arms when your own race is done, whenever and however that is.

For Bobby:

Isaiah 56:3-8

Let not the foreigner who has joined himself to the LORD say, "The LORD will surely separate me from His people." Nor let the eunuch say, "Behold, I am a dry tree." For thus says the LORD, "To the eunuchs who keep My sabbaths, And choose what pleases Me, And hold fast My covenant, To them I will give in My house and within My walls a memorial, And a name better
than that of sons and daughters; I will give them an everlasting name which will not be cut off."

Originally posted in 2004